Characteristics of Love: Love is Not Rude
1 Corinthians 13:5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
1 Corinthians 13:5 (GNS) love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs;
1 Corinthians 13:5(NLT) or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.
1 Corinthians 13:5(AMP) It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].
Introduction: We thank God for His Mercy over our lives and family to see another week of Speaking Scriptures. We can neither choose or work for our existence, it is God Who decides to show mercy.
🙏 I pray that all of us will not be a castaway after ministering His words in Jesus name
In continuation of characteristics of God’s kind of Love, the fifth characteristic is; “Love is Not Rude”.
To be rude is to behave Unseemly, Ill-mannered, act in an impolite way or say impolite things about someone.
In my younger days, I used to keep my distance from girls or boys who claimed to be friends but used to abuse and curse whether jokingly or during disagreement, such as; orí e kòpé (your head is not correct) kòní dára fún e ( It will not be well with you) and more terrible abusive words.
When I started dating my wife about 41 years ago, I told her one basic rule that there should not be any form of abusive words from either of us in any circumstances if we want a lasting relationship. By the Help of God, no abusive words between us up till now even during disagreement or quarrels.
Some people are loud in their comments against their friends or spouses saying the obvious in a joking manner among people which is Ill-mannered in real sense. You can imagine calling a short person “short put,” tall person “electric pole,” fat person “thief’s load,” or thin person “broom stick.” That cheerfully loud greetings or comment is unseemly, impolite and rude which should not come from a loving heart.
Proverbs 27:14(NLT) A loud and cheerful greeting early in the morning will be taken as a curse!
❓Should we be rude with impolite words to someone we claim to love?
Christian courtship and marriage should be excellent in words with sincerity and without offence.
Philippians 1:10 That ye may approve things that are excellent; that ye may be sincere and without offence till the day of Christ;
Offence can come in many ways due to different backgrounds and cultures but anyone who can control what comes out of his/her mouth will be seen to be perfect.
James 3:2 For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.
James 3:2(NLT) Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way.
We are all prone to mistakes but ability to check and control what we say makes lasting relationship. Let those who are in courtship or about to start, watch out for what comes out of the mouth of their partners, and if there is sincere apology when there is mistake with desire to correct the mistake for lasting relationship.
Unto the married, as a new creature in Christ, whenever there’s disagreement, sound words that cannot be condemned even by unbelievers should proceed from the mouth to put opposition to shame. For example, Jesus taught us to bless those who curse us, when you bless your opposition that curses you, he/she will be ashamed.
Titus 2:8 Sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you.
As believers, corrupt communications associated with the world should not be found in us.
Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
Those that you associate with as a Christian also influence your character. If your friend is used to cursing or abusing his/her spouse, you will also do same to your spouse even if that has not been your attitude before.
1 Corinthians 15:33 Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.
🛑 In this world of abounding iniquity everywhere, there is need to hold fast to the word of God if we must produce sound words without offence or rudeness.
2 Timothy 1:13 Hold fast the form of sound words, which thou hast heard of me, in faith and love which is in Christ Jesus.
Sound or edifying words come from the knowledge of God’s word and not wishful thinking. We receive life from the Word of God while death comes from the words of men.
Proverbs 17:27 He that hath knowledge spareth his words: and a man of understanding is of an excellent spirit.
Words of lovers should be soothing with pleasant taste that produce Spirit filled answer.
Colossians 4:6 Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.
Colossians 4:6(NLT) Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.
❓What practical step are we to take this week in addition to previous steps?
📣 Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only.
✍ Finally brethren, as Christians, let us consider what we say especially when angry. Let your words be soft;
Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
Do not be hasty in replying every words from your spouse as if in combat competition.
Proverbs 29:20 Seest thou a man that is hasty in his words? there is more hope of a fool than of him.
Proverbs 29:20(NLT) There is more hope for a fool than for someone who speaks without thinking.
Some Christians become miserable comforters like Job’s friends when they do not think or put themselves in the shoes of the one being comforted. There are words that blow hot air instead of cool air, it is better not to talk than to increase pains of the one going through night time by what we say.
Job 16:2-3(NLT) “I have heard all this before. What miserable comforters you are! Won’t you ever stop blowing hot air? What makes you keep on talking?
Love is Not Rude.
✋ Maranatha.
